Heard In The Locker Rooms

There wasn’t much chatter this week. Pop’s Puppies was crying about something but we aren’t sure what he was complaining about because, well, Pop’s whines about everything.

Also, this week, The Kenosha Maroons are holding a “Yard Sale” for their players. They are trying to get better by using their roster to correct their team and get better….you know, this reminds the staff of a story that better illustrates are point about Kirsch’s “Yard Sale”:

One day, while going to the store, Willie passed by a nursing home. On the front lawn were six old ladies lying naked on the grass. Willie thought this was a bit unusual, but continued on his way to the store.On his return trip, Willie passed the same nursing home with the same six old ladies lying naked on the lawn. This time his curiosity got the best of him, and
Willie went inside to talk to the Nursing Home Administrator.

“Do you know there are six ladies lying naked on your front lawn?”

“Yes,” she said. “They ‘re retired prostitutes, and they’re having a yard sale.”

That is a good illustration of the Kenosha Maroons yard sale and why we won’t call it a Fire Sale because it ain’t.

And Pop’s, don’t call us, it’s a story… we can’t tell you where this nursing home actually is….

FOUR QUESTIONS:

1) Now that the Yankees have handled the Joe Torre situation horribly and the Chargers handled the Marty Schottenheimer situation badly; if you could be the Owner of one NFL team and you got to handle the discharge of an owner badly, which NFL team would you own? Which coach would you publicly fire? How would you handle the situation?

Pop’s Puppies — CAN YOU SAY NORV TURNER/ I’D FIRE HIS ASS AND TED COTTRELL AS SOON AS THE SEASON IS OVER AND BRING IN COWHER IF HE WANTS TO COACH AGAIN OR A HOT ASSISTANT WITH AN OFFENSIVE MIND/ AND THEN BRING IN RON RIVERA TO COACH THE DEFENSE

Fugawi Frogz — Tom Coughlin should be my target here but he isn’t… Norv Turner, why are you the bane of my existence?! You have LT as your running back, the focal point of your offense and yet, you mock conventional wisdom and cost your team wins when you think that Phillip Rivers is Joe Montana, Tom Brady or Peyton manning. he isn’t… and run the damn ball! With that said, i would let all the fans stand in the parking lot with buckets of washable paint and douse you with it as we threw your arse out of the stadium for failing to understand the basic premise of coaching — intelligence….. Wow! How bad do you have to be when you are on my radar screen before Tom Choke-Lin?!?!?!

Scurvy Pirates — I would absolutely fire Herm Edwards so fast you wouldn’t even be able to say “come on, Barbie, let’s go party.” Oh Oh oh! and I’d get kinda bitchy at Eric Mangini. 1 and 7?!? Are you FARGHING KIDDING ME?!?!

DC Nukes — I pick the Bears and I would fire Not-So-Lovie Smith. And then I would trade all of their first round picks for the next 10 years to the Packers for a bucket of chicken. And to make sure the Bears had high picks, I would only sign players for the league min and drop all NFL premier players like Griese. At least, he’s the closest that they got.

2) Who is the NFL Player who absolutely drives you crazy from a fantasy football perspective (whether or not he plays for your fantasy team)? and Why?

Pop’s Puppies — SEAN ALEXANDER/ ELI MANNING/ LOTS OF POTENTIAL AND NO CONSISTENCY

Fugawi Frogz — Byron Leftwich has always been the guy….he had so much promise and never delivered and then there was Domanick Davis, who in a stroke of Wasserman genius, changed his name to Domanick Williams and had the same result as “Captain Underpants” Turducken, his career just disappeared….

Scurvy Pirates — Brett Favre!?!?! LAST MINUTE, LAST PLAY, GAME CHANGING, KILLING MY CHANCES OF AN UNDEFEATED SEASON FREAKING TOUCHDOWN!??!? I hate him.

DC Nukes — The only one that is so evil that I will only refer to him as “He-That-Is-Not-To-Be-Named.” Man do I hate him.

3) Who is the one NFL player from a fantasy football perspective that you absolutely love (whether or not he plays for your fantasy team)? and why?

Pop’s Puppies — BRANDON JACOBS NOW THAT HE IS STARTING TO UNDERSTAND HOW TO RUN “DOWNHILL”/ AND AS SOON AS HE IMPROVES HIS PASS CATCHING LOOK OUT

Fugawi Frogz — We are all about showing Braylon Edwards all the love in the world. He is as Rod Tidwell would say, My “Ambassador of Quan”… and what makes it better… when we drafted Braylon for a mere seven points, the CEO of Pop’s Puppies said, “…he’s worthless with that QB crew, who’s going to throw him the ball… wasted pick….” Wasted pick?! Best seven points I ever wasted…. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… that’s me laughing all the way to the playoffs, Pop’s!!!

Scurvy Pirates — T. J. Houshmandzadeh.
1.) Its almost impossible to spell his name, so that’s hours of fun trying right there.
2.) NFL.com commercials – “championship”

DC Nukes — Randy Moss (as long as he behaves)

4) Looking back over the past eight weeks and as the best laid plans get formalized and seen in the light of the season, which NERFL owner can you declare as having the absolutely worst NERFL draft? and Why?

Pop’s Puppies — LOTS OF CHOICES BUT I THINK MY TWO BEST BUD’S/ CARLOS THE MOUTH AND ANDREW THE PROTEST KING HAVE OUTDONE THEMSELVES THIS YEAR BUT MY UNDERDOG SPECIAL WAS UNTIL THIS WEEK THE FUGAZI FROGZ/ HIS TEAM LOOKED HORRIBLE AND MAY YET TURN OUT TO BE UGLY/ BUT FOR NOW TAKE YOUR PICK BETWEEN CARLOS AND ANDREW

Fugawi Frogz — I can name that crappy NERFL draft in four words, Wink!!!…. “Laurence Maroney fifty points!”

Scurvy Pirates — Well, normally, I would pick on Pops for only drafting guys who seem
to get injured, but all his players seem to get injured, regardless….sooo….I think Kirsch. Fifty points on Laurence Maroney? Come now. And seriously, he started Earnest Graham
(splitting carries) and LaMont Jordan (splitting carries)…no, no, I take it back. It was definitely Kirsch.

DC Nukes — Well, since everyone had fun at the draft, then we are all equal losers… except Josh who continues to kick a$$.