Every once in a while, Kimmelitis will interview a NERFL owner in lieu of a four questions section that is normally printed in this section on Fridays.
We are sitting down with “Q” the CEO and owner of the Philly NymphoPhiActs and I guess I should add, Conference Champion Philly NymphoPhiActs to that greeting. Congratulations!
1) So how does it feel to be the New England Conference Champion in your rookie season?
There is no feeling until I hit that G-spot = “Goal of a NERFL Championship.”
2) Do you agree with the CEO of Pop’s Puppies that rookies should be seen and not heard from?
I sense that Paapi is being quite the deviant… implying gagballs and other devices!
3) As one who has not been afraid to mix up the trash talk this season, what is your take on the egos in NERFL?
The egos and trash talk have been quite “grand.” If by “grand” you mean “grandpa” and bingo! Is Matlock the official spokes-cryptkeeper of NERFL?
4) Is there any team or teams that is out of line more often than not in the league or do you think everything is fair game and when the season starts, let the gloves come off and the punches get thrown?
We can only speak for the Nymphs who will punch, kick, pull hair, fish hook and b*tch slap our way to a NERFL Championship! Heck, we can even do it “off our backs.”
5) Do you have a favorite rivalry in the league yet? Or is it too early to tell which team is going to be your bitter rival year in and year out?
Paapi… we’ve got a father-son… Catholic priest-altar boy… dominatrix-slave relationship! In a world of pimps & ho’s, if you need a poll to figure out who is who, then you’re probably a “ho.”
6) You are going up against the DC Nukes this week in the playoffs. It is no secret that your two teams are on more friendly terms than others in the league. s it a bitter pill to swallow to send a friend packing in the playoffs? Or is it just another game?
Yeah, it’s akin to sleeping with my gf’s sister AND her mother… win or lose, I’m f#&$!
7) Your prediction; who is going to win this week, you or the DC Nukes?
Nukes… they have the firepower to go on a 3-way (err…game) run! This week is tough… Rice at SD, Chris Johnson at IND and Victor Cruz at WSH. I think I’m going down this week and not in the fun way…
8) NERFL has their own version of the Madden Curse, it is the first round curse of the playoffs. Many number eight seeds have knocked off many number one seeds in the first round of the playoffs. This week that curse is amped up to a new level since Pops Puppies are playing the Carolina Chaos this week. Do you believe in curses? And if so, do you think the curse will rear its ugly head this weekend or will it have to wait for another year to take out another unsuspecting #1 seed?
I don’t believe in Curses; however, during this Holiday Season, I believe in STDs, the gifts that keep on giving! I did Paapi a favor by winning last week giving him an opportunity instead of me of playing an injury-depleted Chaos team (Forte, Jennings)… without the late injuries, they were surging.
9) Considering you have been in the middle of the Pops Puppies-Carolina Chaos crossfire a few times this year, what is your take on their rivalry?
Unless someone slept with someone’s wife or stole a tricked-out spoiler, this is more akin to comparing whose “bigger”… Barbie or Malibu Stacy!
10) This week, the Mice changed their name to Kenosha Maroons, PA and could possibly face the Kenosha Maroons next week if both teams progress to the 2nd round… what are your thoughts on the bravado of the Mice to taunt another NERFL franchise so openly in the playoffs?
As far I’m concerned, Macarons are the latest rage in pastry and in France… I think bravado is sweet.
11) Will the Maroons face the Maroons, PA at all in the playoffs?
While Maroon on Maroon action may be pleasing as girl-on-girl action, I think the middle-seeded teams are dangerous! They’ve been streaking and not in a Will Ferrell Old School kinda way…
12) Right now, heading into week 15, tell us the truth. Will the Philly NymphoPhiActs be the 2011 NERFL Champion? And if not you, then who do you predict will win the championship this year?!
Hey, it’s not lying, it’s called flirting! IF they Nymphos can get by the Nukes, then we will defeat Paapi in the NERFL Bowl… however, I think the Nymphos season ends here (this has been a NHL playoff season and anything can happen in the playoffs). As I’ve said all along, Paapi will be the champion. Gronk(TE) is the MVP of the season.
Hi Mom and “Can’t Wait…”
and to think i didn’t even have to pay him off to get his endorsement on who will be the champs.
but his very political answer on 1 vs 8 was exquisite. hey rookie, just tell it like it is, the chaos should go very very quietly not because of injuries [we all have them] but because they are an inferior team and have been since the draft. they “earned” their post championship record of “stinko”
what does herm edwards always say ” that’s why they play the game”. well this week its a lombardi type of game with the dog bites taking no prisoners
and we do look forward to the nymphettes in the champ round so we can quiet the mouth from the land of the cheesesteaks
peace love and the general is out