Kimmelitis

Four Questions & Last Man Standing

kimmelitis — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 14:19:37 +0000

FOUR QUESTIONS

1) Season in Review: Can you tell us the positive and negatives of your season and how they have impacted your team?

Cardiac Kids – The negative of our season is pretty obvious. Wayne and Colston aren’t the center pieces of their NFL team’s offense anymore and the reduction in NERFL Points over the second half of the season has cost us games. Nothing we can do about that. The positive is that hopefully, we’ll clinch a playoff spot and they’ll produce down the stretch. The lessons learned this year will be more than helpful next year as we approach the draft. But our season has always been about final four or Bust. So anything short of a money round playoff run is a failure, so stay tuned!

Pop’s Puppies – drafting poorly has left the doggies scrambling for points all year…. getting lucky with some mid season pickups has helped up till now. we have a shot to make the playoffs and everyone knows you can’t win it if you’re not in it

DC Nukes – Well, the positives have been winning 10 games and the negatives have been the 3 losses. The made the most difference in the standings and potential position in the playoffs. Next year, I will try to win more and lose less. I will concentrate on the positivies.

2) Season in Review: Now that there was a frenzy of activity around the trade deadline, can we crown NERFL’s worst trading partner for the 2009 season? Why?

Cardiac Kids – Our team has no ill-will toward any team when it comes to trading. When it comes to trading players, when the cardiac Kids are serious about a player or a deal, the deal gets done. So for trash talk purposes, I pick on my good friends over at Pops Puppies! Let’s see how many times he can reference McGahee and that Jax hack over the next week. (I still laugh at him for believing that was a real offer…. muahahahahaha!)

Pop’s Puppies – certainly, the ever willing douglas whose sense of style is only outdone by his sense of humor. can you say magahee for sims walker three times fast and still smile afterwards….. and i would not call two or three trades a FRENZY

DC Nukes – Well, considering I didn’t make a trade, I guess I would have to say I was the worst. But, then again I didn’t lose anything. And why break-up a good thing when you have it going?

3) Season in Review: Last week we had a protested game. What are your specific feelings around protested games and how do you think last week’s decision was handled? Why?

Cardiac Kids – We are respectfully appreciative of protests in NERFL. It is a necessary check and balance to make sure every team has the opportunity to make sure we get it right. Especially when The Maroons like to call out the Puppies for illegal rosters!!! I believe the issue last week was carried out respectfully and thoughtfully. I tip my hat to the FC Players because we had agreed to live with the decision before the verdict was handed down. And we thank the Schottenheimers for taking the time necessary to review all facets of the rules (ours and the NFL’s) to make sure they came to a well reasoned, well though out and logical response.

Pop’s Puppies – any owner has the right to protest. this protest [as opposed to some in the past] was legitimate as it brought out a situation that should be discussed more fully after the season along with others like it….. the manner in which it was handled was excellent by all parties. while we may not agree with the decision, the process was correct and the conclusion well thought out. i commend all three owners for their attention to this.

DC Nukes – I agreed with last weeks ruling. It is a tough position and I think in the long run it will need careful examination if we want to make a rule adjustment.

4) Season in Review: Based on what you know now, which team do you predict will be the 2009 NERFL champion? Why?

Cardiac Kids – Other than the Cardiac Kids? If it isn’t us, I would keep an eye on three teams if they make the playoffs; Marty’s Schottenheimers, Carlos and the Falls Church Players. Of those three, the edge goes to Carlos!

Pop’s Puppies – trees, nukes, nukes, trees, trees, nukes….. you pick but unless there is a real bad beat down in the early rounds of the playoffs i think these two will prevail

DC Nukes – I think it could be open to a bunch of teams. The Trees have to be the favorite going in, esp if they win week 14. But, Falls Church has scored 100 points more than the Trees this year. They could definitely beat any team. The Kids have the best receivers and if Rogers, Brees, and P Manning have big games, that team will put up a lot of points. Carlos has a solid team top to bottom and they could also beat any team in the playoffs. But, if I had to pick one, I would have to pick the Nukes because I am a selfish bastard and I want to win the big trophy.

LAST MAN STANDING

Cardiac Kids – Falls Church Players

Falls Church Players – I’m going all in, putting my chips on the Pop’s Puppies.

Week 14: NERFL Straw Poll

kimmelitis — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 02:11:23 +0000

All three Conferences are up for grabs! Two of the Conference games are basically championship games as the winner of each game will win their respective Conference!

1) This is a head-to-head matchup! Who will win the Metro DC Conference; The Kenosha Maroons or the Dragon Slayers?

Cardiac Kids – I’m throwing convention to the wind and going with all upsets this week! The Kenosha Maroons!

Pop’s Puppies – Dragon slayers

Carlos – As much as it hurts to say it.. Going with the Slayers.. The only reason.. Maroons lose.. I’m in the playoffs win or lose… thats the only reason why i pick the slayers..

Dragon Slayers – Slayers of course

DC Nukes – Slayers with a slight edge. This could go either way.

2) Who will win the Tri-State Conference; The Falls Church Players or the Cardiac Kids?

Cardiac Kids – We always bet on the home team! Win and we are in! Let’s go Cardiacs!

Pop’s Puppies – Players

Carlos – Cardaic Kids.. Another way i make the playoffs win or lose.. Got to love my options..

Dragon Slayers – Falls Church should win because of the bad defensive points awarded to the cardiac on week 12

DC Nukes – Both teams win, not sure who wins the conferece.

3) This is a head-to-head matchup! Who will win the New England Conference; The West Hartford Trees or the DC Nukes?

Cardiac Kids – I am all about the upset this week; going with the DC Nukes!

Pop’s Puppies – Trees

Carlos – Don’t really care.. If i get in playoffs, I promise to knock either one out when i play them.. Just wait and See..

Dragon Slayers – Not too sure on this division , but If I had to guess I would go with The Nukes because of the line up he has

DC Nukes – This is a tough one. Because this will be such a great game, everyone is a winner!!!

Volume VIII;Edition 14

kimmelitis — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 14:55:08 +0000

Last week we had another solid week … it seems to be the same every week….

Last week our Record was 4-2-0

Which brings our Season Record to 45-33-0

And now… onto this week’s games!

Week 14:

Falls Church Players -vs- AI’s Practice

The Falls Church Players are on a mission. From whom? No idea but their mission is to seek and destroy. This week, the send the Practic home with another loss and the long offseason to think about what could have been if luck had just been on their side!

Falls Church Players win this week by a score of 135 to 118

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Kenosha Maroons -vs- Dragon Slayers

The Kenosha Maroons are like the little engine that could; “I think I can, I thinl I can, I think I can!” Too bad they ran into the wrong team this week because the Dragon Slayers are sendingone simple message; “NO YOU CAN’T !!!”

Dragon Slayers win this week by a score of 124 to 115

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E & J Experience -vs- The Cardiac Kids

We ask the Cardiac kids, how many more NFL players careers are you going to end?! Fortunately for them, the schedule is in their favor this week. E & J, much like the Practice, has put up good scores they have just had a lot of bad luck on their side. Can they break the string of bad luck this week?! The magic eight ball says No!

Cardiac Kids win this week by a score of 113 to 96

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West Hartford Trees -vs- DC Nukes

This game has everything riding on it. The division title. The 31 seed and the bonus cash for the #1 seed. And a peek into the playoffs to see who is the early favorite to win it all. This game is going to be an all out battle but the computer has predicted a winner and they claim the Nukes will win a 10th consecutive game this week!

DC Nukes win this week by a score of 146 to 126

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Pop’s Puppies -vs- The Rookie Sensation

For a path into the playoffs, no two teams have it easier this week than the Puppies and the Cardiacs! But one should never count on anything in this game, Fate is a fickle mistress. But for now, the computer sides with logic…

Pop’s Puppies win this week by a score of 126 to 101

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Carlos -vs- Marty’s Schottenheimers

The final battle in the black and blue division takes place in our sixth and final prediction. Both teams are in the playoffs with a win. Both teams can be mathematically eliminated from the playoffs with a loss. For these two teams, the playoffs start today!

Carlos wins this week by a score of 127 to 122

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Week 14: You Make The Call…

kimmelitis — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 03:24:41 +0000

The final week of the competition is here… Let us get to the final picks!

Dear NERFL Owners,

YOU MAKE THE CALL…

Standings:

Cardiac Kids – 51 wins

Pop’s Puppies – 50 wins

DC Nukes – 49 wins

Dragon Slayers – 46 wins

Kenosha Maroons – 42 wins

Marty’s Schottenheimers – 41 wins

Carlos – 38 wins

FC Players – 22 wins

Rookie Sensation – 9 Wins

Team TBD – 3 wins

YOU MAKE THE CALL…

Week 14:

Falls Church Players -vs- AI’s Practice

Pop’s Puppies – sorry philly but A I can’t help you this week/ players in a romp

Dragon Slayers – falls by 39

Kenosha Maroons – AI

Carlos – AI’s Practice Over Falls Church Players 130-129

Cardiac Kids – Falls Church takes it to the house in convincing fashion; The Players by 55

DC Nukes – Falls Church Players 139 -vs- AI’s Practice 117

Kenosha Maroons -vs- Dragon Slayers

Pop’s Puppies – no question about it. the slayers feast on the macaroons

Dragon Slayers – slayers by 22

Kenosha Maroons – Kenosha

Carlos – Dragon Slayers Over Kenosha Maroons 141-140

Cardiac Kids – Reluctantly, because I believe in the Maroons, Reluctantly… Slayers by 1

DC Nukes – Kenosha Maroons 109 -vs- Dragon Slayers 111

E & J Experience -vs- The Cardiac Kids

Pop’s Puppies – down to the last and here is the upset special of the week/ eli schools the heart montior

Dragon Slayers – cardiasc by 12

Kenosha Maroons – E&J

Carlos – E&J Experience Over Cardaic Kids 111-110

Cardiac Kids – The Cardiac Kids win this game by 17

DC Nukes – E & J Experience 99 -vs- The Cardiac Kids 116

West Hartford Trees -vs- DC Nukes

Pop’s Puppies – preview of the finals i think/ tough to go against the trees/ the nukes fizzle

Dragon Slayers – trees by 3

Kenosha Maroons – Trees

Carlos – DC Nukes Over West Hartford Trees 151-150

Cardiac Kids – The DC Nukes in the stunning upset! The Nukes roll to the number one seed with their 10th consecutive win!

DC Nukes – West Hartford Trees 154 -vs- DC Nukes 155

Pop’s Puppies -vs- The Rookie Sensation

Pop’s Puppies – dog bites romp

Dragon Slayers – puppies by 44

Kenosha Maroons – Pops

Carlos – The Rookies Sensation Over Pop’s Puppies 101-100

Cardiac Kids – Pop’s Puppies wins the game but does not win the conference; Puppies by 33

DC Nukes – Pop’s Puppies 117 -vs- The Rookie Sensation 108

Marty’s Schottenheimers -vs- Carlos

Pop’s Puppies – the schottzies knock carlos out of the playoffs with this win

Dragon Slayers – martys takes out carlos by 10

Kenosha Maroons – MArty’s

Carlos – Carlos Over Marty’s Schottenheimer’s 131-130

Cardiac Kids – I am betting against the odds this week, you never bet against an angry man and after losing last week, Carlos is angry…. Carlos by 10

DC Nukes – Marty’s Schottenheimers 139 -vs- Carlos 132

Official Standings/Playoff Picture

kimmelitis — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 05:38:00 +0000

These are the current OFFICIAL NERFL Standings.

These standings are subject to change.

REMEMBER: Division tie-breakers are settled before non-division tie-breakers. A team behind a team within their division cannot leap frog a division rival because of a three-way tie-breaker. The divisional tie-breaker is always settled first.

	OVERALL LEAGUE STANDINGS:
		Season Statistics:
Rank	Team Owner:	Won	Loss	Tie
1	West Hartford Trees	10	3	0
2	Dragon Slayers	8	5	0
3	Cardiac Kids	7	6	0
4	DC Nukes	10	3	0
5	Carlos	7	6	0
6	Kenosha Maroons	7	6	0
7	Marty’s Schottenheimers	7	6	0
8	Pop’s Puppies	7	6	0
9	Falls Church Players	7	6	0
10	AI’s Practice	4	9	0
11	Rookie Sensation	2	11	0
12	E & J Experience	2	11	0

With one week left, every division title and all eight playoff spots are wide open. At this point in time, week 14 will make and break the playoff dreams of many teams:

	Match-ups

#1	West Hartford Trees	vs.	Pop’s Puppies	#8
#2	Dragon Slayers	vs.	Marty’s Schottenheimers	#7
#3	Cardiac Kids	vs.	Kenosha Maroons	#6
#4	DC Nukes	vs.	Carlos	#5

Good Luck to everyone in Week 14 !!!!

Week 14: Power Rankings

kimmelitis — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 05:30:08 +0000

Here are the week 14 Power Rankings

1) The DC Nukes take control of the top spot in the Power Rankings this week.

2) The Falls Church Players had the biggest rise up the list since last week.

3) The biggest positive jump point-wise this week was by the Falls Church Players and the Kenosha Maroons.

4) Three teams fell the most amount of slots this week.

WEEK 14: Power Rankings

Rank	Power Rating	Weekly differential	Team Name
1	17.40	1.05	DC Nukes
2	16.08	-1.04	West Hartford Trees
3	11.89	1.07	Dragon Slayers
4	10.82	1.18	Fall Church Players
5	9.98	-1.24	The Cardiac Kids
6	9.92	1.05	Marty’s Schottenheimers
7	9.47	-0.98	Carlos
8	9.17	-1.12	Pop’s Puppies
9	9.14	1.18	Kenosha Maroons
10	3.21	1.03	AI’s Practice
11	-0.80	-0.81	E & J Experience
12	-2.15	-0.77	The Rookie Sensation

Last Man Standing

kimmelitis — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 03:43:16 +0000

Here are the Last Man Standing picks for the week:

Cardiac Kids – Kenosha Maroons

DC Nukes — West Hartford Trees

Falls Church Players – Dragon Slayers

Volume VIII; Edition 13

kimmelitis — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 14:37:04 +0000

Last week we had another solid week …

Last week our Record was 4-2-0

Which brings our Season Record to 41-31-0

And now… onto this week’s games!

Week 13:

Falls Church Players -vs- E & J Experience

The computer has called this a relative blowout as the Falls Church players are on an easy march to the playoffs, starting with the dismantling of the E & J Experience.

Falls Church Players win this week by a score of 132 to 114

————————————————————————————–

Kenosha Maroons -vs- The Rookie Sensation

The Kenosha Maroons are doing everything possible to hold onto a final playoff spot. The computer predicts that the Maroons will barely make it out of the week with a W by only selecting the Maroons 52 times out of 100.

Kenosha Maroons win this week by a score of 108 to 102

——————————————————————————-

AI’s Practice -vs- The Cardiac Kids

And those cardiac games continue for the Kids. This week, the computer predicts and easier road to travel, even with all of the injuries. AI is worried about looking good in Philly so he has decided to actually go to practice and shut his mouth… so we won’t hear much out of either AI this week.

Cardiac Kids win this week by a score of 124 to 109

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West Hartford Trees -vs- Marty’s Schottenheimers

UPSET SPECIAL: You saw it here first and we are as surprised as you are. The Schottenheimers, fighting for their playoff lives, are predicted by the computer 79 times out of 100 to win this week. This would be a stunning upset if it happens and open the door for the DC Nukes to win the division in week 14.

Marty’s Schottenheimers wins this week by a score of 138 to 126

—————————————————————————————-

Pop’s Puppies -vs- Dragon Slayers

This is going to be a classic battle that comes down to every point that each team can squeeze out of each and every player. The final outcome will be decided as the final minutes tick off the clock of the final game…

Pop’s Puppies wins this week by a score of 121 to 119

———————————————————————————–

Carlos -vs- DC Nukes

THE AERIAL ASSAULT BOWL: This is going to be a high-scoring affair that sets the stage for both teams in the playoffs. If you want to win, you better be willing to score some points. This game is meant to serve notice to the rest of the NERFL Owners…. but in the end, only one team can win!

DC Nukes win this week by a score of 141 to 131

—————————————————————————-

Week 13: You Make The Call…

kimmelitis — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 14:03:35 +0000

Dear NERFL Owners,

YOU MAKE THE CALL…

Standings:

Cardiac Kids – 49 wins

Pop’s Puppies – 47 wins

DC Nukes – 44 wins

Dragon Slayers – 40 wins

Kenosha Maroons – 39 wins

Marty’s Schottenheimers – 39 wins

Carlos – 35 wins

FC Players – 22 wins

Rookie Sensation – 9 Wins

Team TBD – 3 wins

YOU MAKE THE CALL…

Week 13:

Falls Church Players -vs- E & J Experience

Dragon Slayers – fals by 30

Pop’s Puppies – eli gets no love from the general/ take the players and get a medic in the house

Marty’s Schottenheimers – FC

DC Nukes – Falls Church Players 145 -vs- E & J Experience 139

Cardiac Kids – falls Church Players by 15

Carlos – E J Experience Upset Falls Church Players 121-119

Kenosha Maroons – Falls church

Kenosha Maroons -vs- The Rookie Sensation

Dragon Slayers – marons by 33

Pop’s Puppies – in keeping with the general’s lack of interest in the macaroons, i’ll take a flyer on the rookie/ don’t screw this up rookie

Marty’s Schottenheimers – Rookie

DC Nukes – Kenosha Maroons 115 -vs- The Rookie Sensation 122

Cardiac Kids – Rookie sensation with the upset; wins by 3

Carlos – The Rookie Sensation Upsets Kenosha Maroons 102-98

Kenosha Maroons – Kenosha

AI’s Practice -vs- The Cardiac Kids

Dragon Slayers – practice in an upset by 4

Pop’s Puppies – can the kids please get a doctor for their ailing heart/ it is possible that this spells the end of the kids run to the playoffs/ but wait its the philly fanatic and we all know he is a schizo/ oh well lets call this the upset special number two/ take the philly cheesecakes and bury the kids

Marty’s Schottenheimers – Kids

DC Nukes – AI’s Practice 107 -vs- The Cardiac Kids 119

Cardiac Kids – Never bet against the home team; Kids by 5

Carlos – AI’s Practice Upsets Cardaic Kids 110-108

Kenosha Maroons – Cardiac

West Hartford Trees -vs- Marty’s Schottenheimers

Dragon Slayers – maarty’s in a stunning upset by 12

Pop’s Puppies – oh josh i wish i could see a way to pick the shottzies but there is just no way. maybe when the vik’s clinch and rest peterson but not this week. the trees in a romp

Marty’s Schottenheimers – Trees (let’s see, will my team even show up this week?)

DC Nukes – West Hartford Trees 121 -vs- Marty’s Schottenheimers 129

Cardiac Kids – Trees by 10

Carlos – Marty’s Schottenheimers Upset WestHartford Trees 132-130

Kenosha Maroons – Trees

Pop’s Puppies -vs- Dragon Slayers

Dragon Slayers – slayers roll by 25

Pop’s Puppies – the doggies are on a roll with a team that looks ugly and wins ugly/ but then again a win is a win so lets say the doggies clinch the division with this one. puppies [david] slay the slayers [goliath]

Marty’s Schottenheimers – Puppies

DC Nukes – Pop’s Puppies 121 -vs- Dragon Slayers 135

Cardiac Kids – Puppies take control of their division with a win; Puppies by 7

Carlos – Dragon Slayers Upset Pop’s Puppies 122-120

Kenosha Maroons – Puppies

DC Nukes -vs- Carlos

Dragon Slayers – nukes by 19 and ok carlos out of playoffs

Pop’s Puppies – between the shottzies, the kids and carlos it looks like no one wants to make the playoffs/ this is a tough one but i think the nukes have enough to take carlos out.

Marty’s Schottenheimers – Carlos (gotta at least try to make it interesting in our division)

DC Nukes – DC Nukes 141 -vs- Carlos 140

Cardiac Kids – The Nukes are going to challenge for the division title with yet another win; Nukes by 17

Carlos – Carlos Upsets DC Nukes 151-150

Kenosha Maroons – Nukes

Official NERFL Standings/Playoff Picture

kimmelitis — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 12:36:10 +0000

These are the current OFFICIAL NERFL Standings.

These standings are subject to change.

	OVERALL LEAGUE STANDINGS:
		Season Statistics:
Rank	Team Owner:	Won	Loss	Tie
1	West Hartford Trees	10	2	0
2	Dragon Slayers	7	5	0
3	Cardiac Kids	7	5	0
4	DC Nukes	9	3	0
5	Pop’s Puppies	7	5	0
6	Carlos	7	5	0
7	Kenosha Maroons	6	6	0
8	Marty’s Schottenheimers	6	6	0
9	Falls Church Players	6	6	0
10	AI’s Practice	3	9	0
11	Rookie Sensation	2	10	0
12	E & J Experience	2	10	0

Playoff Picture

	Match-ups

#1	West Hartford Trees	vs.	Marty’s Schottenheimers	#8
#2	Dragon Slayers	vs.	Kenosha Maroons	#7
#3	Cardiac Kids	vs.	Carlos	#6
#4	DC Nukes	vs.	Pop’s Puppies	#5

Kimmelitis

Four Questions & Last Man Standing

FOUR QUESTIONS

LAST MAN STANDING

Week 14: NERFL Straw Poll

Volume VIII;Edition 14

Last week our Record was 4-2-0

Which brings our Season Record to 45-33-0

Week 14: You Make The Call…

YOU MAKE THE CALL…

Official Standings/Playoff Picture

OVERALL LEAGUE STANDINGS:

Match-ups

Week 14: Power Rankings

WEEK 14: Power Rankings

Last Man Standing

Volume VIII; Edition 13

Last week our Record was 4-2-0

Which brings our Season Record to 41-31-0

Week 13: You Make The Call…

YOU MAKE THE CALL…

Official NERFL Standings/Playoff Picture

OVERALL LEAGUE STANDINGS: